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weinstein is a jerkoff

Harvey Weinstein Starts “Plantsturbation” Trend

In a bizarre twist to the Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse scandal, it appears a new trend has emerged: "Plantsturbaters" or plant masturbaters, people who...
Cops

Police Department Budgets Threatened by Autonomous Vehicles

Police Departments around the country are scrambling to offset revenue shortfalls caused by autonomous vehicles driving and parking legally. "If these vehicles continue to...
Typical Millennial

Millennials Fire Back at Haters: Work Ethic is a Reflection of Boring Douche Work

They claim they’d rather work an hour Ubering to buy avocado toast than to stare at a computer screen for 8 hours just to...
chips

Woman Dies Eating Thick Tortilla Chips

A California woman bled to death while eating chips at Barstow, Tex-Mex restaurant, Fat Jesus's Casa de Queso. Marcy Moonie, a 44 year old...

Man Arrested For Leering at Children’s Splash Park

Kansas City, MO - A man was arrested for watching children at a splash park. Witnesses described a slovenly, overweight, grisly character leaning up...
Dog

Man Denied Employer Reimbursement for Dog Euthanasia

Newark, NJ resident and dog enthusiast, Rudy Goldstein, was recently denied reimbursement by his employer for the euthanasia of his pet dog, Mortie. After...
Grocery store

Costco Cracks Down on “Samplassholes”

This week Costco announced that it would revoke sample rights of so-called "samplassholes", customers, typically obtuse geriatrics, that block access to food samples by...
Corn

‘The CornWhole’ is Packed in Des Moines

Des Moines' hottest new restaurant is 'The CornWhole', where every item on the menu features Iowa's most famous and only export: corn. The menu...
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