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masturbater

Louis C.K Back with New Broadway Show

Comedian Louis C.K. is back on Broadway with an attempt to revive his comedy career after it was exposed that he was inappropriate with...
Corn

‘The CornWhole’ is Packed in Des Moines

Des Moines' hottest new restaurant is 'The CornWhole', where every item on the menu features Iowa's most famous and only export: corn. The menu...
Fucking cats!

New Evidence Suggests Cat Owners Gain Intelligence Boost

In a newly published study in the journal, Nature Meow!, cat owners were found to acquire a boost of intelligence versus non-cat owners. The...
Grocery store

Costco Cracks Down on “Samplassholes”

This week Costco announced that it would revoke sample rights of so-called "samplassholes", customers, typically obtuse geriatrics, that block access to food samples by...
Typical Millennial

Millennials Fire Back at Haters: Work Ethic is a Reflection of Boring Douche Work

They claim they’d rather work an hour Ubering to buy avocado toast than to stare at a computer screen for 8 hours just to...
weinstein is a jerkoff

Harvey Weinstein Starts “Plantsturbation” Trend

In a bizarre twist to the Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse scandal, it appears a new trend has emerged: "Plantsturbaters" or plant masturbaters, people who...

Man Arrested For Leering at Children’s Splash Park

Kansas City, MO - A man was arrested for watching children at a splash park. Witnesses described a slovenly, overweight, grisly character leaning up...
Dog

Man Denied Employer Reimbursement for Dog Euthanasia

Newark, NJ resident and dog enthusiast, Rudy Goldstein, was recently denied reimbursement by his employer for the euthanasia of his pet dog, Mortie. After...
Twerking from Home

Remote Workers Caught with Pants Down

"We were having our daily meeting over Skype when - I guess a coworker thought his camera was off and mic was muted -...
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